The Story Of a not Old Man
by jinchuurikisfury
Summary: Somethings happened in Konoha! Ninja's are going missing, team 7's next! In this new world Kakashi owns a store, but just as he's getting used to his 'new' life, what happens when 3 gorgeous woman stumble through the door? complete crack, written 4 fun
1. Introduction!

Sakura walked over to naruto, who coincidentaly was eating at, yes you guessed it, Ichiraku ramen his favorite eatery. "jo, naruto!" she greated cheerfully, an arm in the air.

Naruto looked up suddenly, noodles hanging from his chin as he smiled a foxy grin at her, waving back, "Ohiyo! Sakura-cha~n!" she smiled softly at her teammate and old friend before boping him on the head for talking with his mouth full. he chuckled, "ah,ah, sumimasen, Sakura-chan.. hehe" he said, going right back to his ramen.

she sighed settling for sitting down next to him, waiting for their old sensei. hehe, oops, i mean me.

this is from my point of view, afterall!

i decided that they had waited long enough when four hours had passed, and i put my precious 'icha icha' away before jumping down to meet them.

"jo!" i greeted lazily, giving them my best eye smile as i looked at my two favorite students, holding back the chuckles at the predicted cries of 'YOUR LATE!'

"ma, ma..." i said sheepishly, trying to hide my smile, " i crossed this old woman in the park, and she was carrying so many bags of grocieries, i decided to help her take them to her house all the way...across...konoha...?" i stopped my usual excuse, to look dejectedly at my old team who were now eating and bickering as if i had not spoken. its not until i listened to their argument that i actualy started feeling my dignity slip away from me.

Naruto: "why does he have to act so bored right before an awesome mission! i can't get pumped up if no ones excited!"

Sakura: *hits naruto* "BAKA! its not his fault he was born with a bored face! its probably why he wears that mask! to hide the even more bored expression!"

i sweatdroped at this. my dignity was dying a slow and painfull death at the hands of my former students. Haven't they no mercy?!

Naruto: "well, if he can't show emotion then theres nothing interesting about him is there? god, how boring. he's almost worse then Sai and Teme put together..."

"guys guys," i said, putting my hands off to fend off the verbal abuse, "come on! you guys are leaving me with no dignity!"

Naruto laughed, making Sakura look at him strangely. "come on kakashi-sensei! we're not taking all your dignity, thats impossible!"

i put my hands down at this, glad he was at last on my side.

"well, thats only because you had none to begin with...." he mumbled, just loud enough for sakura and me to hear.

i hung my head in shame. why did naruto have to verbaly spar with sasuke when they were together? he was getting so good that even sasuke didn't have many comebacks to what naruto said. well, its not like i had any either, so i shouldn't be talking.

sighing, i sat down on naruto's other side, anticipating the teasing that would come for the rest of the night, while ordering my ramen.

i think it was around that time when everything whent ape shit.

******************************************

a jingle from the front door roused me from my memories and i looked up in time to see three women walk threw the front door of the 'ninjutsu specialist' store. they were laughing and gigling like everything was right in the world, pushing eachother around (especialy the tall blond in the center that reminded me of naruto in his sexy jutsu form). i gave them a big eye-smile, looking up and down at them when they werent looking my way.

the shortest one had dark black hair pulled into a loose ponytail, some having escaped flowed down her olive toned forehead into two dark brown pools of eyes you could just sink into. she was shapely, had a wonderfull smile, full of life and innocence, and as she walked over to her friends, i couldn't help but notice the natural swing her hips took in step. she was every mans secret desire.

smiling, i looked down to my romance novel, and put it away in favor of studying the other two as well.

what can i say? i'm a full grown male. and a healthy one at that. *insert scary-evil-perverted-glint into visible eye*

the second tallest one had redbrown hair with freckles over creamy white skin, her green/blue eyes lighting up everytime she smiled. i couldn't stop my eyes from romeing down her also shaply body. her looks gave her an excotic apeal any man would die for, or do other things for, though this is a G rated story, and i can't say anymore. i chuckled slightly under my breath, avoiding the gaze as the girl darted a glance over her shoulder when she felt eyes on her.... lower extremities.

the last girl was just taller then the two, long golden-brown hair tied into a ponytail high on her head, a slight amount of frizz flying into her forest green eyes everytime she moved. her smile reminded him of naruto's foxy grin, completely open and wearing her emotions on her sleeve. and, just like the others, had a shapely body that fit her hight, not to mention her thin frame and eyes that said inocent-to-the-point-of-idiocy would make any mans wet-dream-come-true.

i smiled. hot girls. no, strike that, THREE hot girls. must be a lucky day, i thought to myself as i waved to them, asking sweetly (with masculane mystery i hoped. not that i was trying to seduce them! just, well, you only get a once-in-a-lifetime chance to talk to THREE very hot girls in one day, and i wasn't one to let opertunities get away...) if they needed anything.

The blond smiled and waved back, saying that they were alright for right now, and would talk to me if they needed anything. anything at all.... i could just see my eye glazing over with that perverded gleam, and i was extreamly glad i still had my mask with me, so no one could see my (very) perverded blush. ohh, yah... Bad Kakashi.... Rawr.... NO! stop! custumers. just. custumers. get over it! even if they are hot.... smoken hot... NO! stop you retarded snowman! (?snowman?) if you don't want your head beaten into a pulp by Sakura-chan!

that thought tore me outa my perverted-ness just in time to see my three angles- AHEM... i ment my three custumers... custumers... yes. custumers. anyway, i broke out of my perverted-ness just in time to see my three.... custumers... staring at me with an expectant look.

"s-sorry, what?" i asked, scratching behind my head with my hand, a habit picked up from my #1 hyperactive knuckleheaded ninja.

the blond just smiled as the black-headed girl and the red-headed one scowled, and repeated the question, holding up the sign i had put in the window earlier.

"uh.. you needed help.. we were wondering if you could hire us? are you the manager?" she asked, a cute blush coating her cheeks, until her friends took over for her. "yah, we're kinda low on money, and we saw this 'need help' sign in the front window.. you think we can get hired?" the red-headed girl asked.

i thought for a minute, then smiled, stood, and shook each of their suprised hands in turn.

"your hired!" i said gleefully to their stunned faces.

and i know what your thinking. and your wrong. i hired them not _only_ because they had prety faces, but also because of thier (hot) body's.

never let it be said that i am like any other pervert.

*****************************************

Marlene, the shortest and middle child of the three, cuckled sadisticly at the thought of what she and her two sisters were going to do to all thier former lovers, who had ganged together and cheated on them at the same time.

THE GALL!!

Melissa, the taller and slightly more blond of the three (not to mention the youngest), chuckled darkly as they kept thinking of worse and worse ways to make the boys lifes hell. " we could castrate them..." she said slowly, a maniac gleam in her eye. Jessica, a red-head, the middle hight (and oldest of age) of the three smiled just as darkly. loving the sound of that.

"but wait!" she said, calling the other two's attention to her. "what knife will we use?"

Melissa giggled when Marlene awnsered bluntly, "oh come on. thats easy. we won't do it with a knife.... but a cheesegrater!"

They cackled their way down the highway, leaving every car in their wake with a waft of AURA OF DOOM, GIRL STYLE. the bravest of men shivered as their car passed them on the highway, their legs unconciously crossing to protect their most preccious belonging, while girls who they passed suddenly wanted to know why their boyfriends didn't have time for them, promising themselves that they would find out one way or another.

With Marlene and Melissa cackling in the backseat, Jesica sudenly pulled off the highway on an almost forgotten turnoff, startling the two other girls.

"whats up jesica?" Marlene asked, leaning forward so she could see out the windshield better.

"well, for the past four years, there's this shop over there," she said pointing to a tall white building in the not-too-far-off-distance, driving in that direction. "and, i've been curious sense it opened."

Melissa shrugged, and lounged back, folding her hands behind her head as she stretched her long legs out.

"damn you Melissa! get your feet off the chair before i kick your ass!" Marlene yelled, pushing Melissa's said feet off the back of her old/new-to-her car chair. Marlene looked out the window again, gauging the distance to the building, and completely missing the mocking look Melissa shot her. Jessica giggled, having caught everything exchanged by her two sisters, even the look Melissa had given Marlene as she pulled into the white buildings parking-lot.

getting out and pushing eachother around, mostly Jessica as she was the one with the unlucky luck enough to get hit on the head three times with innanimate flying objects on the five foot walk to the store door, they walked in, jesica having to stop for a moment as the two went in so she could give a baseball back to its unlucky owner, it having just hit her in the face. so make that four flying innanimate objects.

the boy said sorry as he ran away, letting her follow her two waiting sisters into the white shop that was named 'ninjutsu specialist', grabbing the 'need help' sign out of the window before following her sisters completely into the store.

***

after being, suprisingly, hired by the (hot) store manager named kakashi, who (i'm sure you all know but i'm gonna say anyway) had shining silver hair that fell over one eye and a mask covering the lower part of his face so you could only see his right eye. he had on a navy blue turtleneck that hugged his shoulders and hung on his waist, while he had on a pair of blue-ripped-at-the-knees geans that hugged all the right places, and showed off his long legs. (gets slight nosebleed),

anyway, *cough, way off topic, cough* after being hired, they were shooed out of the store after being given their work uniforms, (wich consisted of an apron and whatever clothes may be under it, to kakashi's displesure.) and a manual of the store rules and regulations, along with being told to start the following day.

well wasn't that just peachy. Melissa trudged out of bed at six after being yelled at for 30 minutes about being late to work on the first day. Jessica, who had no right to yell, didn't because she, like Melissa, got up four minutes before Marlene had threatened to come in and bang their heads together to wake them up.

so, after that heartwarming awakening, they took turns taking a shower, and eating the ceareal thier sister had put out for them while she had been hapily humming away. no, not in the kitchen. on the computer. she was absorbed in her emailing and bill paying (cough bill paying cough). as usual.

Melissa and Jessica did their chores, each doing their part to keep the smaller apartment clean. Jessica, Melissa, and Marlene had grown up in the same orphanage, and when Jessica was let out, she was finaly alowed to take her 'sisters' home with her. Jessica, insistant on having her own place to mess up when her luck turned sour, moved out three months after moving in. Melissa though, didn't have enough money because of the courses in collage her and Marlene were taking. Jessica was only there for the night so they didn't have to pick her up.

Lasy butts.... but thats another story...

back to ours, they made it out the door and into the car by 6:00, neatly getting to work on time at excactly 7:00.

and so began, their first day of work.


	2. Was That A Bird?

********************************

CHAPTER 2:

slurping up my noodles like usual, aka making sure to have a distraction planned so i could eat in peace, or what you could consider peace..... anyway, so i ate, and watched my former students, (who don't act like it. honestly. stop friken calling me sensei! god. i'm not that old! kakashi-SAN will do.)

"Oi! jii-san! another bowl please!" i didn't bother looking up as i could already tell naruto was on his fifth bowl. "Oi. Dobe." a cool voice called out, making naruto spit out his noodles in fury. some hanging from his chin as he stood up, efectively knocking down his chair, and pointed at the raven haired Uchiha. "OOII!! TEME! DON'T CALL ME THAT!! YOU BASTARD! IF IT WEREN'T FOR SAKURA-CHAN I WOULD SO-" sasuke walked over the the spot previously unoccupied beside me. "you'd what? noodle me to death? you seem to be trying to pretty hard." naruto stuttered, standing up, fuming at the noncohalent Uchiha. "damn you all." naruto finished, righting his chair and sitting back down to his nearly empty bowl of ramen.

i sighed, trying to stop the violence before i killed them myself. "ma, ma, lets not fight today, lets be calm and civilized.. and... good god...they're not listning....again." i hung my head in shame as i realized Sakura had gone on to bash their heads together in fury as they both wouldn't shut up. "SHANNARO! BAKA! i'll kick both your asses if you don't shut THE HELL UP!!" naruto was effectively silenced, yet the Uchiha failed to see how much danger he was in.

"ah, well it wouldn't be such trouble to shut up if the Dobe would leave me alo-AAAHHHHH~! GOOD GOD WOMAN!" he nearly fell off his chair in fear as a raging Sakura Haruno stalked towards him, a fist rased in fury, a gigantic death cloud enveloping all color around her except for her glowing yellow eyes.

"Sasuke-kun," she said with a sickly sweet voice, gripping the front of his shirt and lifting him three feet into the air. "why don't you sit down and eat, i've already shut up naruto, but if i have to shut you up too, i promise you, you will never, ever forget it." she smiled and put him down on the stool, his eyes, having already jumped out of their sockets and run away in fear, decided it would be safer if they came home. "yah... thats fine...sakura..." she looked at him with a glare so withering that even goddaime herself would be frightened.

"shutting up..." he murmered, looking back to his now cooled ramen.

"heh... sasuke-teme- just got the shit beat outta him by sakura chan... haha! that was a sight i'd never thought to see..." sasuke looked up, his crimson sharringan making a cold draft spear threw the room, efectivly making it 10 degree's cooler.

that was nothing compared to sakura's DEATH AURA, (yup, thats capitalized, and you know its bad. bad ass! CHA!!) which started up again when Naruto had started talking once more.

i stood up, intending to leave my bickering (former) students to their intended bickering, and go do some, *cough*mission reports*cough* when fate seemed to deal us another hand.

i know i seem to always stop at this point, but i feel i must point out, that something i should've noticed at the time, i did not. yah, i know, i didn't notice it, totaly stupid, but oh well.

Shinobi had started going missing. i should have noticed it sooner, but i didn't. in fact, i didn't think anything about it up until this point. kiba and shikamaru had gone out on a two month mission, and still hadn't come back even after four months. we just thought they had run into a complication, but they didn't, or couldn't keep in contact so we couldn't cheack on them.

not just them either. chouji, shino, and even gaara had dissapeared off our radar. i'm an idiot.

you must be thinking that i'm going senile in my old age.

I'M NOT THAT OLD. period. get. over. it.

anyway... now that we got that outta the way.... *ahem* back to disapearences.

so when everyone started disapering, i took no notice of it. sure they were friends of mine, but thats a Shinobi's life. we die. we are tools used by our employers.

i didn't actualy think that something else had happened. like, maybe fate had spit them out somewhere else.... literaly.

********************************

sighing as once again a bell intruded on my memories, i put away my *cough*artistic book.... yes.... any way, i put it away only to look up into the eyes, (well not into their eyes, that being imposible since there were three girls.....) of the THREE gorgeous woman i had hired yesterday. omg. i now know how pervy i am.

sooo... being the polite, nice, (slightly horney) man i am, i stood up and perpared to show the girls around the place. only to stop in horror as in almost slow motion, (let me just stress this, they were INSIDE AT THE TIME...) a bird came flying OFF MY SHELVES, and hit and hit the red head in the face.

IN THE FACE.

WHERE THE HELL DID THE BIRD COME FROM!?

sure the girl was important, but i couldn't have BIRDS appearing out of friken NOWHERE! holy crap man!!

what can i say? its bad for business.

what scared me most was the other two kept walking. like they're friend HADN'T just been hit by a friken BIRD. in the middle of a store. lets just stress this again.... they were INSIDE.

"CAW! CAW!" "AAAARRRGG!!" the girl.. my angle was .... wrestling, with the friken bird! why weren't her friends helping! i was perparing to run to her aid, not like a knight in shining armor or anything.... man i really have to stop reading those books....

when her friends stopped, and turned seeing their friend lying on the ground, holding the bird in a friken headlock. "Jessica? what the hell are you doing?"

"No! Jessica! leave the poor bird alone! stop hurting it!" the blond one cried.

"...oh.. oh yeah, like i did... anything to it in the first place..." The black haired girl just shook her head, walked toward her, grabbed the bird, just like that, (as if she was USED to things like this happening... well i wouldn't be suprised, i think i saw the girl hit in the face with a baseball yesterday...i still have no idea where that came from either.. man, does this girl have a magnet for things sharp and pointy, or innanimate and flying to hit her in the face?) and threw it out.

i must've stood there for about five minutes before i realized they were looking at me strangely... as if that... that... incedent.. hadn't happened.

I mean, she was hit by a friken BIRD! INSIDE, before friken WRESTLING with it!

I mean, where did the damn thing come from?

jeez... i've really gotta get outta this... sooo, pretending that INCEDENT, (that DID happen by the way..) hadn't happened... (which it did) i walked over to them, giving them my best, (and most handsome, i liked to think) eye smile. making all three of them blush... at the same time. aww! so Kawaii! *cough* so anyway.. i smiled at them again, and waved them over to the back room, no, not to molest them, tho i wanted to dearly... nevermind... anyway, i showed them the shelves and how to restock, and put the black haired girl on a register, (her name was Marlene,) and put the blond, (who's name was Melissa,) to work in cleaning.. while i got the redhead, (who's name was Jessica as we discovered earlier) to work in restocking the shelves... the other two protested strongly, but i said that she would be fine, as all other nesting avian speicies had been cleared of the area.

they gave each other knowing glances before getting straight down to work, putting my other employees to shame. speaking of which.... they were late.... again.. they were lucky i couldn't fire them, or they'd be kicked out on the street now. stupid kids.

crap, i'm making myself sound old.

i walked back down to my spot over the counter, grabbing my book again and sitting back down. forget going through the, 'its an artistic book' crap, i just wanted my porn.

and porn i shall have.

i opened my book to the part i was on, trying not to giggle as i read through the page, before hearing a crash in the back.

'CRASH!!!'

see. told you.

looking at my two new employee's, (who didn't seem to notice anything. they really need to get out more. usualy hearing a crash is a BAD thing.) i sighed and walked toward the back room.

lets just say, that next time they tell me not to do something with Jessica, i think i'll listen.

that was not ment in a perverted sense. (shut up those who know me better!)

boxes littered the ground like kuni on a battlefield, and i stepped over them trying to find the source of the destruction. i should've known before the boxed form of the redhead jumped out of the pile shouting to no one in particular, "I'M OKAY!" i sighed, and went forward to help her remove the boxes covering her body.

hehehe....

stop it. stupid pervert.

i grabbed the box that seemed to be nesting on her head and pulled it off with a 'thwap' what the hell? did it sucktion cup to her head or something? i shook my head and threw the box into a forgotton corner of the room, telling myself i need to get out more. Jessica smiled and looked at him with those green/blue eyes, not really listning as she said those 'thank you's' as she tried to step out of the surrounding boxes.

i should have been watching. not that i tried anything, mind you, i didn't have time. damn it, arn't i a shinobi?! shouldn't i see this kinda stuff?

And damnit, its not because i'm getting old! cuz i'm not!

so, as she fell toward me, i did the only thing my fazed out brain could think of doing. i reached out, and grabbed her, trying to withhold my perverted instincts and NOT grope the poor girl.

'omg... don't grope, don't grope, Don't Grope, DON"T GROPE! OMG I GOTTA DO SOMETHING!' i swear at that time, two parts of my mind were at war.

one side said, 'omg, thank you god,'

while the other said:, "DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT! HOLY SHIT SO CLOSE!'

.....

I'm so perverted at times it scares me.

so anyway, about that time i was about to go with my instincts and grope the poor, (yet endowed) girl, Marlene came in.

heres how downhill it went from there.

"hey is everything, okay? i thought i heard a crash.. so i wanted to see what was going on-" there was no time to think. i took the easy way out, and pushed the poor, (and lucky) girl onto her friend, hoping they would see the good in the action, and not smash my brains out my ass.

"sdfrasdradrf!" marlene had just enough time to yell, (I still don't know what it was though...) as Jessica came sailing through the air towards her. landing with a "THUMP" and even more boxes went flying. oh mother of god, i hope the blond is ready for the cleanup job.

oh good god, speak of the devil.

"hey guys, should i use the feather duster or the-UMFF!!" good greif. the blond went sprawling over her friends in a very blond fassion. i have to say though, this scean would go well with my book... i ran into the corner and banged my head against a wall as blood spurted from my no-good-nose. stupid nose, giving away my perverded-ness and nearly knocking me backwards. "kakashi-san..?" i looked back just in time to see a very dishiveled and blushing blond and readhead getting off their black-headed counterpart... making my nose spurt even harder.

in a stroke of brilliance i faced the wall.

and banged my head against it some more.

that seemed to have some effect.

"what the hell Jessica?! you don't just go flying into people like that! it obviously knocks them down!" Marlene, coming back to her senses, started complaining at the red-head for falling on her. "ahh, i'm sorry, i seemed to slip.... again..." marlene just sighed and hefted the struggling red-head off her before getting up and brushing herself off. then realizing something was wrong.

"OMFG! Jessica, do you have a FEATHER DUSTER STUCK UP YOUR NOSE?!"

melissa blushed horribly before realizing that, yes, it was indeed her fault... "uh... sorry?" she said sheepishly, still in her place on the floor, as Jessica ran around the room histaricly.

"CALM DOWN JESSICA!" marlene yelled, choosing to ignore the blond on the floor in favor to the screaming red-head, as i was no help, still slamming my head up against the wall.

"MAYBE I WOULD CALM DOWN IF THERE WASN'T A FRIKEN FEATHER DUSTER UP MY NOSE!" she gestured franticly at the object before yelling at them again. "I CAN'T SEE IT, BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN!" i made sure to stop my head slamming enough to realize that there was indeed a feather duster up her nose.

... this girl needs perfesional help. seriously.

so in another stroke of briliance, i walked over to the three, intending to help before hearing the most scariest sound in the world...

the yelling of an aprotching blond haired ninja, and his yelling counterpart of a konoichi, and i could just sense the ravens chakra....

well shit.

my other workers were finaly here.

and i had wanted the three to myself. maybe i could use the help... well, at least with the red-head...

******************************************

"ooooooiiiiii...... Sakura-CHAAAANNN!!"

'BANG!'

"SHANNARO!"

Melissa looked up at the door, ignoring her two siblings in favor of the coming wave of sound.(and crashes)

she flinched when the door was thrown open, revealing a shouting pinkette and a struggling blond.

"shannaro! how dare you skip out of your ramen bill!! you made us each pay 30 dollars to cover it!"

"s-sakura-chan... i...uh, didn't skip out, i uh... had something to do?" it was painfully obvious it was a lie. and the pinkette wasn't going for it.

"baka..." she looked up at the loud *ahem* from kakashi, and let the blond go, smoothing out her clothes, she glared down at the dishivled boy growling, "i'll deal with you later."

the blond shrank away from her, before standing up himself. he had a white tee-shirt on and a pair of ripped at the knees blue geanes, much like kakashi's. he was about as tall as her employer with eyes that were a deep creuliean blue, unruly blond hair and three whisker marks on each cheek, and with the just broad shoulders and tall lanky body, he was definently drool-worthy.

the girl was tall, but only came up to about his chin, her short pink hair falling down to her shoulders as her forest green eyes darkened slightly with anger, she turned to kakashi.

"sup, kakashi-sen- oops, san.. hehe!" it scared the blond how fast the pinkettes moods could change.

kakashi sweatdroped and gave her an eye smile. "maa, maa, you guys are late.... again..."

the blond guy laughed. "sorry kakashi-san. we got lost on the road to life." he put his hands behind his head, and smiled as he saw kakashi sweatdrop again.

he had a big, inviting foxy grin that spread across his whole face, making you instantly like him.

kakashi sighed, waving them threw the back room and into the store itself. "alright, alright, i get it. now get to work or i'll kick you out." he said with a big eye smile.

the two just smiled, the pink girl walking up and pinching his cheek efectionatly. "oh kakashi-_sensei_, you wouldn't throw us out for anything." she let go of his cheek and sauntered away, knowing she had won this round. the blond just smirked, blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "yup. we're too interesting." he chuckled before grabbing an apron off a hook on the wall behind him and walked into the store. kakashi looked at the three girls with a sigh. "alright, you three as well, and Jessica, you might want to help Melissa with the re-stocking." he said looking around the nearly destroyed room.

"oh and you might want to get that outta your nose." he pointed out before walking back to his chair.

Marlene sighed. "okay Jessica, lets do this the quick, and painfull way. get over here."

Jessica wimpered, but stepped forward, looking to Melissa for support before wimpering again, seeing her sibling halfway across the room, stacking boxes like nothing was happening.

************************************

after skipping out on my ramen bill, i managed to run straight towards the shop i worked at. or rather, me and my friends worked at after _it_ happened.

finaly getting there, i tried to sneak in the back way, but, of course, my luck didn't hold. Sakura-chan just HAD to find me right then, and proceed to bash my brains out against a wall.

great, a headache to go along with my great day. just flippn' peachy.

i should skip the gory details of my blood coating the outside wall, making it look like a masacre had happened, and go right to the part when i actualy get to work.

okay. so i grabbed my apron after taunting sensei, and walked out of the back room, barley recognizing that there were three other girls in the room.

three very hot girls.

though for some reason, one had a feather duster up her nose... though i don't think it was on purpose... she looked like she was in pain...

i walked back to the door leading to where i had just left, and listened to what was happening inside.

"damnit.......still.....won't....as much....IDIOT!" i could only hear the louder of the conversaton and it was confusing me... and the fact that i was blond didn't help. sighing, i pushed the door open, and wished to god i hadn't.

*************************************

"Jessica, it would be better if you DIDDN'T move." Melissa said pausing in her stacking long enough to look the squirming Jessica in the eyes. the only response she got from the redhead was a muffled whimper.

"Damnit, will you sit still! it won't work as much if yo move! IDIOT" Marlene yelled harshly, trying to rip the godforsaken feather-duster from Jessica's nostril. just then the door burst open, a very confused and hyperactive blond charging into the room, only to be knocked over by the other blond who charged and jumped Naruto, pushing him to the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he yelled loudly, Melissa's thin legs stradling his barrel chest, keeping him pinned to the ground. She looked above his head to the wall behind him, then pointed to where she was looking. he looked up, spotting a blue feather-duster stuck in the by the handle in the wall where his head had been several seconds before.

"oh." he looked at the blond seated comfortbly on his chest and smiled sheepishly. "thanks."

"hehe, it was no problem!" she smiled back lively and got off him, holding out a hand to pull him up.

he smiled and grabbed the hand, allowing her to help him up.


	3. AKAMARU, RUN!

CHAPTER 3:

so there we were, me and my former team, just sitting at the ramen shop eating ramen like nothing was about to happen. wich was completely wrong.

a ninja should see underneath the underneath. yeah right.

so there we were, just eating our ramen when the whole stand began to shake and quiver like an earthquake had struck.

all four of us grabbed onto the counter and held on for dear life, trying not to fall over ourselves.

"What the hell?!" naruto ground out, looking at the old man behind the counter, that we were currently hugging to stop from falling. (poor thing.)

"JII-SAN!! HEY YO-" suddenly, as if we had been gripped behind our eyelids, something ripped the counter away from us, and shrouded us in darkness at the same time.

nearly screaming, we hurdled through an endless expance of space, bodies weightless as we scrambled for purchace on something, anything. i couldn't hear the others. i couldn't see them, the darkness was so complete. twirling ever downward in that spiraling abyss, it really made a man feel alone.

another jerk behind my eyelids, and we were hurdling in another direction. or, i assumed it was 'we'. i couldn't sense my companions, if they were even with me. i felt like screaming. it felt as if we were traveling forever, if there was even a we. was there a we? who was we? who was i?

Fuzzy memories of strange people, faces shaddowed, apeared in my hazed mind. orange clad children, blonde haired men.

_sensei. naruto. sasuke. sakura._

shit! what the hell?! i looked above me, what felt like above me, and _did_ look. there was a fuzzy landscape apearing above my head, and i was heading towards it fast.

Really _really _fast!

***********************************

i looked around the now spotless room, glad the three had gotten the mess cleaned up.

what suprised me was that they said that Naruto had helped out. that was just plain weird. Naruto almost never did anything, and to clean willingly, well, i didn't blame him.

those girls were _**HOT.**_ just saying.

Melissa grinned at her work, joking around with jessica and naruto, pushing them both around and laughing good naturedly.

stupid naruto. i wanted those asses for myself. now that he was here, he was probably going to try to get at least one of them. i already knew none of the new employees were Sasuke's matirial.

hehehe...

*ahem* anyway, i turned to go back to my book, (for yes, *heroic pose* that is what it is! a Book of supernatural qualities. oh yes, supernaturaly good PORN!) i shook those scarily Gai thoughts away, and walked toward my desk, knowing nothing else would bother this day.

or so i had hoped.

Damn.

"AKAMARU! DAMN YOU!" I'm afraid to say, my eyes dimentions may never be the same. damn that kiba, he'd better be lucky i didn't have any throwing-knives on me, or he'd have been a pin cushion.

or a kuni cushion, but hey, who's being picky?

i growled, slamming down my book and scrubbing my hand down my masked (and handsome) face, when i heard the most frightening, most horrifing sound in the world.

"OMG! PUUUPPPYYY-DDOOGG!!!" i turned just in time to see marlene launch herself at akamaru, hugging his neck and cooing at him.

not that he seemed to mind, he actually seemed to be enjoying it. i wouldn't blame him, actually if anything, i would give anything to trade places with him, if only for a little while. shaking my head, i looked back to marlene.

okay, maybe i was happy right were i was. akamaru looked like he was in pain, marlene hugging him so tightly after all.... and Kiba just didn't know how to tell the girl that akamaru _was_ indeed choking, and not just making those sounds for fun.

"Marlene! No! Down girl!" Jessica and Melissa ran to the rescue, heaving Marlene off the strugling dog. "NOOOOOO!! PUUUPPYYY!!" here eyes scrunched up in concentration as she faught her hardest to scramble away from her sisters, arms outstreatched toward the cowering dog.

Kiba didn't look so brave either.

"Marlene!" i called out, rushing over to help the struggling girls. gripping their sister by her shoulders, i shook her sharply and got her to look at me. "what're you doing?" i asked, and she blinked, her eyes narrowing. "hey, shouldn't i be asking that question?" i looked down, she was inches from my face, a bright red blush lighting up her face.

...

....hehehehe.... NO! i gently put her down, making sure to block the dog from her line of vision as her two sisters ushered the poor thing and its stupid owner out of the shop. ahhh, stupid Kiba. but, its not her fault, even i didn't know that she would go insane for the poor thing.

compared to those two incedents, including the feather duster up the nose, (and then the twenty minutes it took all three girls to rip it from the wall) and the boxes, well, nothing even remotly interesting happened the rest of the day.

well, there was the woman who convieniantly embarassed every girl in the shop by asking where the condoms were.... but i was very profesional, and pointed her to the back of the shop, which earned me glares and embarassed blushing from every girl in the shop. but hey, i didn't really care, if i got money for selling condoms, so be it. (let no one say that i am _just_ a pervert. because i'm a pervert who knows how to do business. its not the same thing, trust me. if not, then look at jiraiya. he's a prime example.) well, other than that, there was nothing remotly interesting that went on.

except for the next day....

which we'll get to.

*******************************

Melissa sighed, marking the page of the book she had stolen from kakashi, and put it on the bedside table. it wasn't really interesting, just, well, more.... porn.... than anything. it was acctualy kind of funny. well, at least for her, when her sisters had read it, they had on a blush everytime they had looked at kakashi, and said they saw him in a completely diferent light.

she really didn't understand why, but she shrugged off that thought pattern, and walked into the kitchen where Marlene was eating a midnight snack.

"hey, wheres Jessica?" she asked, grabing a chair and flipping it so she could sit on it the wrong way.

"uh... earth to Melissa, we took her home an hour ago. remember, we don't have work tomorow?" she kept eating her food and reading the paper that had apperently appeared out of nowhere like Melissa hadn't asked.

Melissa blinked. where'd the newspaper come from? shaking it off, she was about to go back to her book, (or kakashi's book,) when the doorbell rang.

she looked at the clock, then at Marlene, before walking to the door.

it was 9:00, who could it be?

***************************

I threw the pillows everywhere. i even grabbed the cashregister, (in an amazing show of strength, if i may say so. if only the girls were here to see it, Damn.) and looked under it. Nope, not there either. I hadn't been able to find it since the dog incident with Marlene. Shit! Where did I put it?

I looked around a bit more, the office already a freaking mess, before grabbing my car keys off the hook and booking it out of there.

Where was my freaking little orange book?! I know I didn't misplace it, and I knew that Naruto and Sakura didn't take it, because they had truthfully admited that they hadn't seen it at the register, and thought i had it on me.

NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!

My porn! I was nearly sobbing as i drove down the highway, intent on going to my three other employe's home so I could ask if they had seen it. (its not like i was using this as an oppurtunity to go see where they lived, and if they slept in their underwear... not at all.... okay, i really need help now.) I was busy banging my head on the stearing wheel to get rid of nosebleed-inducing-thoughts so i almost missed it.

Twice.

Sighing, I took another (cough not illegal cough) U-turn and drove into what I thought was their apartment complex. Parking, I grabbed the paper with their adress on it as i exited the car, looking for their apartment number. (it wasn't a big apartment complex, it was low-class, but nice enough that i could see lots of familys lived here. nice trees, even a park in the back.)

1245...

1245...

12- AH-HA! Got'cha, little bugger.... I rang the doorbell, hoping I had the right apartment when the door opened to show me my little blond angel. When she saw me, her eyes lit up, and she smiled a bright foxy smile at me, blinding me with the full force of her grin.

"Oh! Hiya Kakashi-san!" she said, waving me in. I nodded my thanks, stepping into the modest apartment, taking a look around as I did so, giving her time to go get her sisters. "Whats up, Kakashi-san?" I heard Marlene drawl, walking into the living room with a nice smile on. I think that besides Anko, Marlene's the only woman I know who can drawl, and make it look sexy. I returned her smile with an eye-smile of my own, and rubbed a hand over the back of my neck, (not like it was in such a way that I knew that my shirt would get tighter, not at all..... okay, mabey a little.) looking around again.

"hey, wheres Jessica?" I asked sudenly, making sure to count both of them again to make sure she wasn't there.

"Oh, she has her own flat, and likes to mess it up on her own. Surley you remember the bird?" I shuddered at the memory, and nodded, "Yeah, its not like i could forget it. And don't call me Shirley." She shook her head and rolled her eyes, then walked back out of the room leaving Melissa alone with me. I looked to her, putting my hands in my pockets and leaning back a bit. "So, Melissa, I was acctually wondering-" I was cut off when Marlene came back in with a cup of coffee for all three of us. Gratefully taking the cup, I continued with what I was saying as we all sat down across from eachother. "So, I was actually wondering if you knew where my book was. I seem to have, uh, misplaced it..."

Marlene's face seemed to drain of blood, and Melissa just blinked. "You drove all this way, the whole hour-long-drive, just to ask us where your book was?" Marlene didn't seem mad, she just seemed, well, indcredulus. Was it really an hour long drive here? Wow...

Must've been to perverted to notice.

Oh well.

I shrugged my shoulders, once again apoligizing for my intruding.

Melissa smiled, putting her cup of coffee down, saying, "Thats fine, Kakashi-san! Well, while your here, would you like to play a game?"

I perked up. A game? What kind of game? My mind was flooded with thoughts that would better belong in Jiraiya's books. "What kind of game?" I asked, knowing they wouldn't know my perverted ways well enough to know I was asking a perverted question. Strangly enough, it, if even for a moment, looked like they did.

Marlene coughed her coffee back into her cup, a huge blush staining her cheeks, and spreading quickly.

Melissa blushed and gulped, gently patting Marlene's back as she convienantly avoided my eyes.

Damnit. I knew it.

Shouldn't have let them spend that much time with Naruto, he wouldv'e told them all about my perverted-ness. I mentaly shook my fist at the heavens, boldly proclaiming to get revenge on the 'Blond Haired Wonder' at the nearest possible convienience.

A cough disturbed me from my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. Marlene was holding on to her coffee with an expectant look on her face, and Melissa was just looking at me with one elegant eyebrow raised. I gulped, knowing why they knew my perverted ways was not helping. I gulped and held up my hands, saying, in I hoped was a comforting voice of a parental figure, (not like i wanted to be one, mind you.) "Not in that way, you perverts."

I knew I had gotten their frame of mind right when both girls relaxed visibly. I rolled my eye, and politely declined. Standing up I thanked them for their hospitality, and got ready to leave.

"Thanks again girls!" I called out cheerfully, waving as i stepped out of the door. "No problem!" they chimed together. I eyesmiled at them as the door closed, then walked dejectedly back to my car.

Not only did I not have a clue where my precious book was, but i also did not get to play perverted games with gorgeous little girls.

Ahh, well, maybe tomorow would be better, I thought as I started up my car, backing out of the parking spot, and prepared for the long drive back home.

If I had any way of knowing that tomorow would be a VERY good day, I wouldv'e done anything to make this day go faster.

Hell, I wouldv'e done work.

Yeah. Thats how good it was gonna get.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************

OMG. hehe, those girls stole kakashi's book. hehe, old perverted man.

Kakashi: *sits alone in a dark and gloomy corner cuz i called him old.*

Jessica: HEY! I wasn't in that last par- OOF! *gets hit in the head with a baseball bat that comes out of nowhere.

random boy: SORRY! thats the second time i've hit you with something!

Me: okay, thats enough. i'm gonna get going now... i'd apriciate some comments..... plz?

kakashi: *gets out chidori* *growls* better leave a comment or i'll use chidori to pummle you t-OOF!

Jesica: *uses baseball bat to hit kakashi* sorry guys! just leave a comment! its not like we _could_ use chidori, huh kakashi?

Me: *sigh* Just, well, plz post a comment. thanks.


End file.
